STAR TREK Done Right

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We Are STAR TREK Fans

The latest argument from those tens of people who love the latest incarnations of STAR TREK will tell you, “The haters are not real STAR TREK fans.” Publications like the Mary Sue are quick to point the finger at people like Gary from Nerdrotic and The Critical Drinker. Both of these individuals managed to embarrass a STAR TREK production in under one hour of the premiere of their respective videos. Nerdrotic managed to get more live viewers of his live stream (a Spock action figure sitting in an empty chair) than the official Paramount Plus STAR TREK: STARFLEET ACADEMY YouTube premiere. Someone at Paramount is probably going to be fired for the embarrassment that happened. Not only did Nerdrotic attract more live viewers than Paramount, they left the comments on! They’re still on to this day, as of this writing. Can you believe that?

Contrary to what the Mary Sue would have you believe, Gary is a long time STAR TREK fan. He’s been a fan longer than I’ve been alive, and he’s only 10 years older than me. He’s brought us through the disasters that were STAR TREK DISCOVERY, STRANGE NEW WORLDS, and SECTION 31. PICARD Seasons 1 and 2 slapped us in the face as well. Then, the actors decided to attack us. Robert Picardo, who even us long time fans were excited to see return, not only had a bit part to play, but was also among the first to attack us before ACADEMY premiered. This didn’t bode well for a show that was already dreaded by the overall fan base.

Long time STAR TREK fan John DiMarco, who hosts a STAR TREK-themed Jeopardy parody game show every Saturday Night (US Calendar) on YouTube, has sworn off so-called NuTrek because the formula isn’t the same. It’s not a matter of taste or even that of “changing times.” Putting the current iteration of TREK side-by-side with the 1990s and even the 1960s and you’ve got something that’s not recognizable as STAR TREK. The enduring format of the TNG era of TREK (1980s through 2005) can go side-by-side with the 1960s original series and it’s clearly recognizable. It’s quite obviously STAR TREK.

Today’s TREK is not recognizable.

In 2001, when STAR TREK ENTERPRISE premiered, people tuned in, expecting a new science fiction show starring Scott Bakula. Rick Berman decided to drop the name “STAR TREK” from the show in order to bring in new fans, believing that STAR TREK was a “tired brand that needed a rest,” yet he wanted to show some respect for the fans. What new audiences said? “Hmm, this show looks like STAR TREK.” ENTERPRISE may have dropped the name but it was quite obviously STAR TREK. The cadence, the way the characters acted and spoke, the way the stories were told, that was clearly STAR TREK all the way. Unmistakable. Towards the end of Season Two, marketing slapped STAR TREK back onto the title. By Season 3, it was official: ENTERPRISE was rebranded as STAR TREK ENTERPRISE and everyone applauded it, even if the theme song version turned to dust.

We’ll take the banjos in “Faith of the Heart” over ANYTHING Alex Kurtzman has produced.

What’s Wrong with STAR TREK: STARFLEET ACADEMY

STARFLEET ACADEMY is not an original idea. In the 1980s, Harve Bennet originally pitched the idea after STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN featured Kirk and crew assigned to the Academy after the Enterprise‘s second five year mission came to an end. The movie would feature a brand new refit to the Starship Enterprise designed by Ralph McQuary of STAR WARS fame. The movie would go through several iterations, featured as a prequel and then as a sequel, before it became STAR TREK: LAND OF THE TITANS. That whole thing would be rejected and scrapped for the STAR TREK movie series we know and love, today (for the most part). STARFLEET ACADEMY would be floated around throughout the decades, including a concept designed by the showrunners of STAR TREK during the 1990s and early 2000s. This would firmly be rejected by both Paramount and the fans. However, in the 1990s there was a very short run of STARFLEET ACADEMY comic books when STAR TREK was under the banner of Marvel Comics. Today, a short series of comic books entitled PICARD’S ACADEMY follows Cadet Jean-Luc Picard’s conquest during the Academy, which was only hinted at in THE NEXT GENERATION episodes “Tapestry” and “The First Duty.” We learn more about the politics of the Academy through Nog on DEEP SPACE NINE in the episodes “Homefront” and “Paradise Lost.” We know that the Academy is a school, a university not unlike the academies that graduate students into officers in the US armed forces. These academies only recruit the best of the best. They have strict admissions guidelines, as did Starfleet Academy in the classic era of STAR TREK.

No longer in this version. STARFLEET ACADEMY serves to give audience the same STAR TREK experience as the likes of STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS, which was a self-parody. ACADEMY is more of the same drivel and we are expected to believe that bumbling idiots make for good Starfleet Officers. Spoiler Alert: they don’t.

You don’t see bumbling fools tripping over themselves, screaming randomly during combat exercises, grabbing rocks begging for mercy, giving each other the finger, dropping all kinds of 21st century vernacular with one another, worry about activism and DEI mechanics in the actual Academy anytime on STAR TREK. The challenges in the real Starfleet Academy are just that – real. Nog being bullied for being Ferengi is natural. Thus, he struggles to find his place and to belong. The respect he gains during the Dominion War vindicates him and Nog becomes a legend. While his arc isn’t typical, it mirrors the expectations that Starfleet cadets must go through during their time in the Academy.

We see none of that in this iteration. We have a chancellor who thinks she’s being edgy because she disrespects the captain’s chair. A Klingon-Jem’Hadar female hybrid (who the tens of people who watch and enjoy SA are calling long time fans misogynistic and bigots for pointing this out when we’ve gotten not even a blurb as to how or why this character exists), a hologram who requires zero physical fitness or combat training (she can simply upload this information into her holomatrix and call it a day), a rich kid who serves as the “putting the white man in his place” character, a girl boss who shouldn’t be there named Genesis, a criminal who Holly Hunter’s character Nala Ake says she regrets every day of her life because she separated Kaleb from his mother, a Klingon wimpy femboy named Ja’den, for no reason other than the writers simply ran out of alien-sounding words (and apparently forehead makeup since he is wearing the House of Mog crests on his forehead), and I think that covers the horrible characters already in this crap. Absolutely none of these characters would survive Picard’s Academy nor would they even make it to their processing days in Kirk’s. The writing of the show reeks of activism, and that is the stark contrast between real STAR TREK and NuTREK, today.

“STAR TREK Has Always Been Woke”

No, it hasn’t. There is a very large chasm between the alegories tackled by the writers of classic TREK and the nuances of the issues being addressed by today’s modern STAR TREK (in name only). STAR TREK tackled things head-on but it did so by not treating their audiences like morons. “Let This Be Your Last Battlefield” dealt with racism without being heavy handed. “The Outcast” dealt with identity issues and gender constructs. “Rejoined” dealt with the first LGBT-type of relationship in STAR TREK between two joined Trills who were both female and still madly in love with one another. “The Expanse” dealt with terrorism in a world still reeling from the events of September 11, 2001. There are so many more examples of TREK out there that tackle social issues of the day with class, taste, and mix them flawlessly with the science fiction future setting of the 23rd and 24th centuries.

STAR TREK has tackled these issues and left things open for you to make up your own mind. In “A Private Little War,” do you side with Kirk who wants to arm the aliens, or McCoy who thinks it’s wrong? The episode provides no right or wrong answer, and that’s intentional. In modern TREK, if you don’t agree with them, you’re called everything in the book. You are reported to social media mods for hate speech, just by simply saying, “STARFLEET ACADEMY sucks!” If you don’t agree that separating a child from his mother, you’re dead wrong! It doesn’t matter that mom was a criminal trying to steal food… in the 32nd century…. in the age of replicators!

Today’s modern age rewards criminal activity. It gaslights the scientifically obvious (there are only two genders, etc). The woke is so heavy handed that STAR TREK now tells you that if you don’t agree with them, you’re not a STAR TREK fan. Doesn’t matter how deep you know the lore, you’re not a fan. Individuals like Nerdrotic and John DiMarco aren’t fans because they don’t agree with certain points of view and remember a STAR TREK that was serious, adventurous, and inspiring, and only want that back again. When we watch STAR TREK, we don’t want a comedy parody. We want real commentary and to not feel like we, as the audience, are idiots STAR TREK no longer respects us as the audience and that, in and of itself, is the real tragedy.

How To Do STARFLEET ACADEMY Better

There are two ways to do this show better. If I were in charge of STAR TREK, this is how I’d go about it.

Option 1: simply DON’T! There’s a reason why this concept and show have been rejected since the late 1970s! Touching the Academy every once in a while is great in a mainstream series. But as a series all on its own? I’ll say this: the way NuTREK is doing it is NOT the way to go.

Option 2: a STARFLEET ACADEMY show has to have elements that make STAR TREK what it is. It needs to be an allegory for modern issues while not forcing a choice on the audience. If you tackle trans rights (already done in TNG), you can’t force the audience to side with the trans side. It must present an argument on both sides and trust the audience to make up their own minds. There’s no other way to properly do it.

Further, the comedy has to be cut almost entirely, compared to the current actual show. This isn’t a parody, this is a series based on a 60 year-old property that’s beloved since its inception. As a show runner, you have this singular responsibility and you cannot fumble as hard as Alex Kurtzman has.

So, I would steer clear away from DISCOVERY as I possibly could and set the show post-Borg Attack after STAR TREK PICARD Season 3. The show would feature a cast of cadets who have to survive to graduation. It has to be centered around a team, not an individual, and disregard gender. If the male character has strength, they’ve got strength. They’re not idiots who have to yield to the girl boss of the group. A female cannot overshadow the male characters. This doesn’t mean she can’t be the main character. Everything and everyone has to have potential and bring their strengths and weaknesses to the team.

Finally, the show could take a similar approach to how the defunct Interplay company took their STARFLEET ACADEMY game, which starred George Takei, Walter Koenig and William Shatner in their respective STAR TREK roles. The game’s main action took place in the Academy Simulator during the senior year of the star characters’ time at the school. An ACADEMY show would last only 4 seasons, following our students from admission to graduation. There could be some comedy, some angst. However, it should never reach the level of what we’ve got, now.

Respecting STAR TREK

In order to do STAR TREK right, one thing has to be done: RESPECT THE FRANCHISE!

Respecting STAR TREK also means respecting the fans. Not just the ones made through STD, but the ones that came before; the millions of fans over the last six decades who’ve made STAR TREK what it is, today. Treating fans who disagree that your version is any good like dogs is how you get snuffed out. We are seeing this, right now, in real time, with STARFLEET ACADEMY. It’s sad that an empty chair with an action figure, streamed live, got three times the views as mainstream, live-action STAR TREK did on the same medium.

Over the last couple of years, only two (and I mean two) projects have actually respected long time STAR TREK fans. STAR TREK: PICARD Season 3 and THE ORVILLE (which does STAR TREK better than STAR TREK ever did in the modern era). While PICARD 3 wasn’t everyone’s favorite, it was the best of STAR TREK since 2009. It did STAR TREK the best from what we’ve seen so far. THE ORVILLE is in a whole ‘nother category, proving that 1990s era STAR TREK can work in today’s social landscape. All it takes is someone with love and respect for Gene Roddenberry’s true vision to come up with something compelling and inspiring, the way Seth McFarlane did for THE ORVILLE.

More of that, please.